Yearly Archives: 2014

Why (not) to get an MFA

I am often asked what I think of MFAs and whether that’s the next natural step for writers who are serious about writing. This guy says it better than just about anyone (and thank you Ariella Jochai for sending me the link). Some will no doubt disagree with him (and me). MFAs are not what they use to be. If you can involve yourself with a writing community that you trust and have your work regularly critiqued, if you take part in literary events, and write a lot, and read a lot, you’ll basically be doing what you need to do to progress along the writing path. But don’t listen to me. Read Chris Brecheen’s blog. If you feel like it, post a comment here and let me know what you think.

Your vegetarian friends and family will love you for your Tofu Turkey

Of course they love you for all sorts of reasons, and here’s one more: Tofu Turkey. It’s not Tofurkey.  This entree, which nicely replaces turkey, should be called Tofu Helmet, because that’s what it looks like.

Regardless.

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What you need:

5 lbs. of tofu, medium in firmness, or 5 white plastic containers that contain 2 cakes each.

You will stuff it with a stuffing of your choice, or the recipe below.  I’ve adjusted it a little to taste the way I like stuffing—not exactly what you see here—adding oregano and basil.

Homemade poultry seasoning

¼ cup sage
2 T marjoram, thyme, and savory or rosemary
1 T celery seed
1 T black pepper

Herbed Whole Wheat Stuffing

2 T sesame oil
1 C diced onions
1 C mushrooms, diced
1 C diced celery
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 T homemade poultry seasoning
¼ tsp. sea salt
¼ cup soy sauce or tamari
4 C (or more, depending on wetness/dryness tastes) whole wheat bread, cut into ½ inch cubes (we use squaw bread)
¼ C parsley, chopped

Basting Liquid

¼ – ½ C toasted sesame oil
¼ C tamari

Mushroom gravy (this makes a ton of gravy; you could easily cut it in half)

2 T toasted sesame oil
2 onions, diced
6 C mushrooms, diced
1 C whole wheat pastry flour
6 – 7 C water
¼ C tamari

Garnish

1 large sprig parsley and/or fresh sage, or no garnish, which is usually how ours ends up.

Let the production begin…

Mash tofu well. Line a colander with a single layer of moistened cheesecloth.  Transfer tofu to colander.  Press tofu to flatten and fold edges of cheesecloth over it.  Place a cake tin or other flat object over the surface of the tofu and weigh it down with a heavy object (5 pounds worth) to press liquid from tofu for one hour. I pile a half dozen cans on it. If you don’t want the soy milk from the tofu to leak all over the place, place the colander in a bowl or something.

Mix poultry seasoning ingredients.

To prepare stuffing, heat oil and sauté onions, mushrooms, celery and garlic.  Sprinkle poultry seasoning over vegetables. Dissolve salt in tamari and add to pot.  Stir, cover and continue to cook until veggies are done, about five minutes.  Add bread cubes and parsley and mix well.

Hollow out tofu to within one inch of colander.  Pack on stuffing and cover with remaining tofu.  Pat down so surface is flat and firm.

Oil a baking sheet and at least an hour after you began pressing the tofu (or longer; longer wouldn’t hurt) flip filled tofu (helmet) onto sheet so that the flat surface is face down.  Remove cheesecloth.

Mix basting liquid and brush tofu with it, then cover tofu with foil.  Bake at 400 degrees F for one hour. Remove foil, turn oven to 350, and baste and return to oven to bake uncovered until the “skin” becomes golden brown, about one hour more.  Baste again halfway through, and maybe even another time or two.

To prepare gravy, heat oil and sauté onions and mushrooms.  Mix flour and water.  Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring often.  Simmer uncovered over medium to low heat, stirring occasionally.

That’s it!  It is time-consuming, but so worth it.  I’ve made it every year for the last 20 years at least. Email me if you run into any snags.

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Recipe created by Michael Schmidt, proprietor of the Tofu Shop, Arcata, CA www.tofushop.com and adapted a little by me.

LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov … a must read

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“For me, a work of fiction exists only insofar as it affords me what I shall bluntly call aesthetic bliss, that is a sense of being somehow, somewhere, connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm. There are not many such books.” – Vladimir Nabokov, in “On a Book Entitled Lolita,” 11/12/56

When I mentioned that I was reading Lolita to a few friends and colleagues, they mostly gave me shuddered responses. The subject matter, of course, is dicey: Who wants to read about a pedophile? Especially those of us who have had close contact with pedophiles, it’s not a world we want to revisit.

Yet, Lolita is an iconic novel that sat on my shelf, one I never read, but thought I should read. I’d seen the movie years ago, but it had faded into the distant aisles of memory, with only images of its stars (Shelly Winters, James Mason, I think) hanging in front of the drawn curtains behind which stacked details from the film I could no longer remember.

Between novels, I’d pick up Lolita and give it a try, but pretty quickly it resumed its place on the shelf. And then last weekend I read an interview with Donna Tartt, whose new novel, The Goldfinch, just came out, in which she said, “My favourite book? Lolita. Ask me tomorrow and I’ll probably say something else.”

Done deal. I had to read Lolita. I ordered The Goldfinch and while I waited for it to arrive, I committed myself to Lolita.  As I read my 1989 copy, the Vanity Fair quote on the cover–“The only convincing love story of our century.”–dangled about.  I’d never thought of the novel as a love story, certainly no one had ever said as much, but it was, it certainly was.

The writing is perhaps the most gorgeous writing of any novel I’ve ever read. It’s not my favorite novel, but the writing is among the best, ever. Every writer in every genre should read Lolita, if for no other reason than to study from a master.

I’m excitedly onto The Goldfinch, now, and Lolita will resume its place on the shelf. I’ll no doubt be an evangelist for a time. Forgive me. That’s how it is when you read a book you know you’ll never forget.